It didn't drop like a hammer, suddenly crushing the energy out of me. No. It was sneaky, creeping up on me bit by bit, week by week, sucking out life and will while I bounced from doctor to doctor looking for a diagnosis. None came. I read about chronic fatigue, found that I had enough of the symptoms to qualify, and asked each doctor if I could possible have it. The answer was always the same: Chronic fatigue is very difficult to diagnose. Perhaps getting more exercise will help you.
Oh, yes! There's the answer. Get more exercise. Why didn't I think of that? I've been riding my horse nearly every day for decades, cleaning house, cooking meals, working in the yard. Now I don't have the energy to do those things--but getting more exercise will definitely fix me right up.
Some days I don't have the energy to clip my fingernails. Or heat leftovers for dinner. Brushing my teeth is an act of willpower. I pay someone to ride my horse and keep him in shape. I have been inactive for so long that I have gained sixty pounds. I hate being fat. Of course the doctors tell me that losing weight would benefit me, maybe give me more energy. Gee, I never thought of that.
Laura Hillenbrand, author of the novel Seabiscuit, suffers from chronic fatigue. Her illness hit her hard and fast. Her first doctor diagnosed food poisoning. It wasn't. Then, while visiting her mother on a break from college, she collapsed and couldn't leave. Eventually, she moved with her boyfriend to a small house in Washington, DC. They got married later. The bride sat down during the ceremony.
She does all her interviews for her writing by phone and email. After Seabiscuit was published she crashed, not leaving her house for two years. Some months she never left her bedroom. Like me, some days she must confine herself to one activity a day. Victory for her is taking an entire shower standing up.
I have improved somewhat in the past few years, but I still can't ride my horse. Most evenings I can cook dinner, and I keep up fairly well with household chores. Gardening is mostly confined to house plants and flower pots on the deck. I have a cleaning service for the serious house cleaning.
I recently read an article that said chronic fatigue might be caused by some malfunction in the bowel. I'm not surprised. My symptoms started in that area.
The worst symptom is that no one has taken this illness seriously enough so far to do anything about it. I sure hope that changes.
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