I Nominate Jed Clampett

Suppose Jed Clampett walked into the Republican National Convention wearing a blue suit and a red necktie, with yellow mustard combed through his hair. Would someone nominate him for president?

He has many of the same credentials as the person who has recently been nominated:

• He's very rich.
• He's comfortable in his own ignorance.
• He has no political experience.
• He is completely unaware of any facts necessary to run a government.
• He doesn't acknowledge or care about any of his shortcomings.
• His family are just as clueless as he is.
• He comes with his own built-in followers.
• He has the vocabulary of a third grader. 

His lack of a trophy wife can easily be remedied. There must be hundreds of leggy models in Beverly Hills searching for a mindless billionaire husband. He just needs to look into online dating.

Jed's biggest problem would be the outspoken Granny, who might need to be anchored down while Jed is wooing sensitive groups, like Evangelicals. He could cut her loose for debates, where she could annoy hell out of Jed's opponents, and for television appearances, where she could reveal her recipes for possum stew and homemade lye soap.

Yes, I nominate Jed Clampett for president. He looks promising.