Karen Brown, Writer

Commentary--Ugly Words Department

Aren't there some words that you just wish had never been born? Words that make your ears cringe every time you hear them? I have several; here is a short list.

Snood  If you were born after World War II, you probably never heard this word. A snood is a tiny fishing net that a woman wears (or wore) secured to the back of her hair to keep it in place, or, if you were  Rosie the Riveter, probably to keep you hair from getting caught in machinery. Sounds contagious to me.

Goose-step  Ugh. Who can hear that word and not think of Adolf Hitler and his goose-stepping army?  Didn't God give us knees so we wouldn't have to walk like that? Now the North Korean army has taken it up to entertain their little round dictator, Kim Jun Un.

Quark  Teehee. Quark, quark, quark. Sounds like a duck with a speech impediment. Yeah, I know it's a real word, but it's hard to take it seriously.

Hurdy-gurdy  It took a sick mind to give a musical instrument a name like this. Of course the sound a hurdy-gurdy produces is about equal to its name in ear torture, so perhaps they come out even.

And last, today's prize winner:

Ombudsman  Someone was definitely drunk when this word was coined. Or maybe it was created by a person with a particularly nasty sense of humor. It's ugly to look at and even uglier to say. My throat constricts and aches whenever I try to say it, like I was trying to give oral birth to a porcupine. The dictionary says it refers to a person who investigates complaints, reports findings, and helps to achieve equitable settlements. I have never met a person who was willing to admit that he or she was an ombudsman. Can you blame them? They would probably rather be called gofers.